Kiss and Tell

Boy, it's nice to be blogging again. It's been a long time. And in case it's possible some of you have forgotten or maybe haven't even met me, I should let you know something: I am perfect!

That probably goes without saying. I mean, come on--look at me: I'm 5'4". I have a gap between my teeth. I'm working on a nice bald spot if you look closely at the back of my head. I've got tan lines which make people ask where my farm's located. My sense of style is--as my wife will tactfully tell you--a bit lacking. And, yes, I have a distinct flare for the obvious. I'm telling you this, because...well...each one of you is a lot like me.

Yes, you're all probably taller than me, of course...that is, unless we've had any 10 year old girls subscribe to my blog recently. NO? O.k., so you're all taller. And most of you have absolutely beautiful teeth (Veneers). Some of you even have all of your hair (Weave!). And you've all apparently opted for one consistent skin color. Mine, by the way, is NOT a farmer's tan. It may look like it--yeah, I know--but it's actually a cyclist's tan. If you want to know what the difference is, take a look at my quads...

But still, y'all are a lot like me. Physiologically, we have almost the exact same DNA. And yeah, I know what you're thinking: the same could be said if I was talking to a bunch of chimpanzees, too, I guess. But my point is, the difference between you and me isn't as big as what you might think.

After all, our blood is all red. We share the same hormones, even. I have estrogen in my body exactly like every woman reading this. I just have a bit less. In fact, I have all the female hormones in my body, but women are just relatively more female than me. The truth is, everyone has both male and female characteristics, some of us just more than others. And I'm not braggin or nothin, but some of us have a heck of a lot more...if you know what I'm saying...

And we all make mistakes, too. I made one...once.

Seriously--I was 17yrs old and living it at home with my mom and older sister Heather who was home from college. One of Heather's boyfriends had given her this massive, 5lb Hershey's Kiss. This thing was HUGE! And I don't know how long she'd had it before I discovered it in her room, but it was more or less completely untouched. Just a few teeth tracks from where she'd scraped off a little bit here and a little bit there. Now, the remarkable thing about my sister and me--and this is my teenage brain talking here--is we have amazingly similar teeth. So, I thought to myself--she'll never notice a few additional tracks. And I guess you could say this was my first true calling to be a trainer as--well--I really didn't want her blowing her figure or anything, right?

A few scrapes and no big deal--she'd never notice. A few thousand scrapes, and that 5lb piece of chocolate had dropped half its body weight, and--oh my god--I was in trouble.

See, my sister is only 5 feet tall. But she had fingernails and wasn't afraid to use them. Some of the fights we had growing up were absolutely epic! I'm talking Godzilla vs. King Kong epic. And even though I was bigger than her, avoiding confrontation seemed to be my most prudent strategy if I wanted to keep all of my skin.

Think, Drew, Think...

Our DOG!

We had an English Bulldog named Lady Tierra--or "T" for short. Now Lady was no lady. That dog was MEAN! When my friends came over to the house, I told them "she loves it when you scratch her behind, but whatever you do: DON'T--I repeat--DON'T look her in the eye!" Funny: it's kinda the same thing I told them about my sister....Lady Tierra was second only to my sister as the biggest B-word in the house. I'd probably have given her that title based solely on the number of shoes of mine she'd gotten hold of and just torn to shreds. She did the same to books or balls or anything else in my room. The truth was, nothing was safe if it was within her reach...including a 5lb Hershey's Kiss...

Before you could say "poor dog", I finished off the last pound or two of chocolate. And just to be on the safe side, I put the box in my mouth for dessert. Then I GNASHED my teeth together and TORE up the box and RIPPED all the tinfoil and paper until it was spread all over my sister's room....

I was pretty proud. The crime scene was perfect! And if there was a small brave part of me who thought about confessing, it was quickly convinced to swear a cowardly vow of silence as Heather beat the crap outta that dog. I mean, she beat that dog so badly and was so mad I was scared! It was years before I told her the truth. Honest: We were sitting around the dinner table after Thanksgiving 7 or 8 years ago and reminiscing when Heather told this story about how T ate her entire Hershey's kiss. And I don't know if it was guilt or maybe I had just matured. More than likely it was the fact that Heather was clear on the other side of the table and I was next to the door. Whatever the reason, I finally came clean.

Kinda like I'm doing now.

And why am I doing this now? Simple: I want you to know who I am. All of these stories. All the secrets or lies. Everything I've ever done. Everything that's ever happened to me. All the shame. All the pain and doubt and sorrow. All the injuries, all the illnesses, and every single failure or embarrassing moment has been mixed with love and acceptance to give you who I am.

And I'm perfect.

And so are you.

Think about it! There has never been another person exactly like you in the history of the Universe, and there never will be. You are perfect. With all of your faults, all of your screw ups and gaps in your teeth, scars both physical and emotional, you are exactly what the Universe has intended. And the fact that you are here--at this precise moment in time--when the sun is just close enough to sustain life--any farther away and we'd freeze, any closer and we'd instantly incinerate--that fact is no coincidence. You are here for a reason. And if you don't believe me or you have no idea what that reason is--it's o.k--you're not alone. Most of us don't know. Many of us never will. Osho writes that some souls are brought into this life just to impact the direction of another soul. For most of us, time and distance is often what it takes to give us the perspective to see the truth in a given situation. When you're up against a wall, it's hard to see the door which is right beside you, right? Yet, here's the crazy thing: you may not even need that door.

Imagine we're sitting in a room together and I ask you the question: "what's really here?" These are walls, right? And what's on the other side of these walls? Another room. But if these walls weren't here, we'd just be in a bigger room, right? The air inside this building is the same air that's outside this building. If it weren't for these walls, wouldn't we just be meeting outside? Yet the reality is--these walls are nothing but a collection of atoms. And quantum physics tells us that atoms are nothing but 99.99999 percent empty space. These walls? They're not even really here.

And with that thought it mind, I have a question for you: What's the difference between you and me? What's the difference?

Love thine enemy as thy self.

Do unto others as you'd have done unto you.

We're all connected, people. Our skin and even the oceans which separate entire continents are no more real that those walls. It's all One. And what we do to or for someone, we do to and for ourselves. And more importantly perhaps: what we do to ourselves, we're doing to the world. Doesn't that idea make you think twice about how you treat yourself? Most of us are our own worst enemies. We need to stop looking in the mirror and seeing the scars, the flaws. We need to stop hating ourselves for the mistakes we've made. Stop thinking about all you have to do and think about what you GET to do! I don't even watch the news anymore, because most of it's just negative energy. War and crime and fear. I don't need to see that! I know it's out there. But I also know that you energize what you focus on. It's sort of like when you're riding a mountain bike through the woods and you see a tree near the trail. If you focus on the tree, you're gonna hit that tree. You need to look where you want to go--not where you don't want to go. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.

Focus...on the positive.

And here's something positive: You are me. And as I told you with my flair for the obvious, perfect.

Which means you are perfect, too.

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